Ramblings Archive

  • Cuts Like A Knife

    Cuts Like A Knife

    Some random observations as pertain to my recent vasectomy: 1. The awkward moments begin as the nurse tapes your dick...
  • A Quickie Or Two

    A Quickie Or Two

    OK, what the fuck? Ed Hardy Beverages? I assume that the secret ingredient is vinegar to appeal to all of...
  • Whatever!

    Whatever!

    Some random venting: OK, first of all, Tiger Woods is not “recovering.” Tiger Woods is laying low until the shitstorm...
  • A Few Scattered Thoughts Fueled By Insomnia

    A Few Scattered Thoughts Fueled By Insomnia

    Dear NBC, Never mind O’Brien, Conan The Barbarian is actually funnier than Jay Leno. Dear Everyone Who Is Way Too...
  • Holidaze

    Holidaze

    OK, so sue me. I still laugh every time someone mentions Dick Armey’s name. I haven’t been babbling on here...
  • Your Money Or Your Life?

    Your Money Or Your Life?

    OK, was I speeding? Yes. Was I in the process of slowing down because I travel that same fucking route...
  • Yeah, About That Speech Thing…

    Yeah, About That Speech Thing…

    At least as far back as the Reagan Administration the President has made a televised speech directly to school children....
  • Mountain, Man

    Mountain, Man

    On vacation this past week I continually crossed paths with a redneck dude dressed in sparkly, spangly jeans, t-shirts and...
  • Episode VII: Luke Strikes Back

    Episode VII: Luke Strikes Back

    Let me state from the onset that I am not at all homophobic, but I have always requested and gotten...
  • Leaky Brain

    Leaky Brain

    From the Things A Father Never Wants To Hear Department: “Dad, I got my first modeling job. I’m going to...
  • Monday Clutter

    Monday Clutter

    Let this serve as notice of the new law just enacted by me on my drive to work… If you...
  • Open Letters

    Open Letters

    Dear Vlasic, If you want to re-enter the modern marketplace, perhaps it’s time to update your mascot. You’re a Groucho...