Monday Clutter

Monday Clutter

Let this serve as notice of the new law just enacted by me on my drive to work… If you pull out on me driving a 70s-era RV with a trailer behind and then proceed to go 30 miles per hour on a winding two-lane road – I am allowed to call in an air strike. It’s a little-known law, but it’s a law none the less.

We were doing some yard work around the house this weekend and when I went to pull out the wheelbarrow I noticed that the tire was flat. No problem, it’s been sitting for quite a while – I’ll just pump it up, right? So I attach the pump and start re-inflating the tire when I notice the following written on the sidewall – NOT SAFE FOR HIGHWAY USE. In my mind I can envision countless examples of why that statement is necessary on the tire, it’s just funny to me how 99.6% of them take place in the South.

When I saw the headline “EX NFL QB MURDERED” on Yahoo!, I thought someone had finally had enough of Brett Favre’s retired/returning bullshit.

Some people don’t seem to get that when you ask – “How was your weekend?” – you’re really asking for a concise summary as opposed to a moment-by-moment walkthrough.

Boobs are great. Qdoba is great. A Qdoba burrito served on boobs would be beyond great.

OK, back to work…




About the Author

I am patiently waiting for the Mothership to take me back to my planet.