From the Things A Father Never Wants To Hear Department:
“Dad, I got my first modeling job. I’m going to be the feature girl of the month on JugFuckers.com!”
“Dad, I can’t wait for you to meet him… The next time I go for a conjugal visit you can come along.”
“Dad, I could tell college wasn’t working so I quit and spent the money on these!” (lifts shirt)
“Dad, I swear I thought that’s why they call it the Head Cheerleader.”
Let’s see, what else? I suppose I should find Sasha Baron Cohen hilarious, but for some reason I can only stand him for about 5 minutes.
Billy Mays is still annoying the shit out of me from beyond the grave. The Jupiter Jack? Really? Sounds like an astronaut masturbation technique…
Speaking of the Solo Arts, I’d like to thank Facebook and the rest of the social networking world for allowing us to update our masturbatory mental images from years past. Nowadays a fantasy can be updated to a modern setting instead of always taking place in that first piece of shit car you drove when you were 16! Besides, parachute pants were a pain in the ass to deal with! Admittedly the updates aren’t always for the best, but that’s the way the ball bounces I guess… Pun not intended, but what the Hell, right?
One thing I am absolutely positive about – people who think they’re always right are fucking annoying.