Rah, Rah, Rah, Blah, Blah, Blah

Rah, Rah, Rah, Blah, Blah, Blah

Well, a lot of people are excited that gas is back below $2.00 a gallon… All it does is piss me off since there’s no reason other than greed for it to have risen like it did in the first place. Supply and demand my ass! Hey Big Oil – you fuckers arbitrarily inflate the market for your product whenever you feel like it and then have the balls to tell us it’s all about our rate of consumption? You control the supply rate! Match the rate of supply to the rate of demand and be content with your several hundred billion dollars each quarter instead of gouging us at every turn, you dicks! I hope I live long enough for fossil fuel barons like yourselves to become irrelevant and destitute as you lord over your barrels of precious crude. Actually, that’s not mean-spirited enough… I hope you all get run over by electric cars!

On a lesser financial inequity note, Pizza Hut is now selling a one pound P’Zone for $1.00 with the purchase of a large pizza. Again, this has many people licking their lips in anticipation of some greasy goodness that saves them some money. All it shows me is that the markup on their products is so high that they can afford to create the illusion of savings while still making a healthy profit. Don’t believe for a second that there are corporations out there selling you things at a loss just because they feel bad for our economic downturn! That said, I will still be partaking in a deliciously fattening, artery-clogging, Meat Lover’s P’Zone at my earliest convenience – I will just do so with the knowledge that the only one of my problems that it is solving is hunger!

What else? Oh yeah. There’s a lot of rumbling by the folks who are bitter about Obama’s victory that he is focusing on a BCS playoff during this time of crisis and that he shouldn’t be paying any attention to such a non-issue. Well, you’re right he shouldn’t. And he isn’t. That’s been an offhand topic of discussion during the time that he’s not spending assembling a cabinet or meeting with the current administration to plan the transition or revolutionizing the way the office of the President speaks to the American public by acknowledging that there is such a thing as the internet or… You see my point?

We’re stuck in the mindset that the President can’t multitask. That’s a reality we’ve had to deal with since 2000, but that time is coming to an end.

As Bill Maher said, “Bush isn’t a multitasker. He’s not really even a unitasker!”

I would respectfully ask of all of you out there to at least wait until Obama fucks something up before you skewer him. I’ll be the first person to call bullshit when I see it, and I invite you to share your criticisms whenever they are warranted, but seriously, it comes across as petty to nitpick a man for a job he hasn’t even started yet. And what a job it’s going to be…

In baseball vernacular he is the long man. That’s the guy who gets called in from the bullpen when the starter falls apart quickly, creating a lopsided situation. The long man’s job is to stop the bleeding as much as possible to save undue stress on the rest of the bullpen. He may give up some runs along the way, but hopefully he keeps the game at a point where it’s at least feasible that his team could mount a comeback.

We’re down. But we are all on the same team, right? Right?

That’s my half-assed attempt at a rah rah America speech. Put on your rally caps, folks. Get your asses up off the bench and cheer the next man up.

About the Author

I am patiently waiting for the Mothership to take me back to my planet.