Fear Mongering Begins At Home

Fear Mongering Begins At Home

So, my kids were talking about the election last night at dinner and then they told me how one of their friends on the bus said that their family was voting for McCain. OK, I disagree but to each their own.

Then they told me the reason she gave…

She said that her father told her that if Obama won then the Iraq war would be brought here to our shores and we would all die.

Un-fucking-believable. Cue CSNY’s “Teach Your Children Well.”

The dinner in question was a drive-thru McDonald’s special since my whole household isn’t feeling so hot. I called on my way home and got everyone’s orders. As usual my wife, the queen of bland, had a special request for a Double Cheeseburger Kid’s Meal except that she wanted a plain double hamburger. Just the meat and the bun. She asked that I order it that way and check it before leaving the drive-thru to ensure that it was correct.

I ordered. I checked. I drove home.

I didn’t check well enough. When I opened the bags containing my girls’ Chicken McNugget meals I found… fries and a toy. Yes, they forgot the Chicken McNuggets in BOTH of their Chicken McNugget meals! I am impressed in some perverse way because I have to believe that it’s difficult to be that stupid.

I drive back and explain the situation to the manager who is nice enough, but not smart enough to skip what she thinks is a valid suggestion to me, “You know, it’s a good idea to check everything before you drive away.”

To which I responded, “Yes, it’s probably an even better idea to CHECK IT BEFORE YOU HAND IT OUT THE WINDOW TO ME!!!!!!!!”

Assholes. Everywhere.

One final note for today, here’s yet another great, and by great I mean horrifically lame, church sign I saw this morning:

“If God is your co-pilot… Switch seats!”


About the Author

I am patiently waiting for the Mothership to take me back to my planet.