Some random venting:

OK, first of all, Tiger Woods is not “recovering.” Tiger Woods is laying low until the shitstorm blows over. Stop belittling the recovery of people everywhere by insinuating that he has any sort of sickness other than a megalomaniacal sense of entitlement. Being a “sex addict” is just another way of saying “has a penis.”

The medical community needs to be sure of their data before advising for or against procedures. A while back it was suddenly announced, seemingly out of thin air, that mammograms were often unnecessary and could potentially cause more harm than good. Now today I am reading the same sort of proclamation about prostate exams. Speaking for all women who don’t enjoy getting their tit smashed like a blob of Silly Putty and all men who don’t like a cold, rubber-gloved, jelly-slathered finger in their ass, I respectfully ask, “What the fuck?”

It’s been said that the earthquake in Chile may have shortened the length of a day here on Earth by one-millionth of a second. Fuck! I already don’t have enough time as it is to get shit done.

Bombers are attacking polling places to discourage voting in Iraq. Yeah, this whole “bring Democracy to the world” thing isn’t working out as the Bush Administration had hoped. They forgot to factor the insanity of the citizens inhabiting the target nation into the equation. I say we cut our losses, build a giant dome over Iraq like the one they put over Springfield in The Simpsons Movie to keep all of the crazies inside, and get the Hell out of there.

American Idol. Anyone still give a shit? Didn’t think so. Moving on.

Faith Hill is performing at the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame induction ceremony to show her “rock roots.” Funny, I thought her roots were brunette.

A fantastic and versatile musician, T-Bone Wolk, died this week. And every member of Nickelback is perfectly healthy. Need I say more about the inequities on this planet?

Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney must have the same writers as Jay Leno. Not a laugh among them – at least when they’re trying to be humorous.

I want an iPad. Anyone wanna help a brother out?

OK, that’s enough for now. I suppose there is something I am supposed to be doing…

About the Author

I am patiently waiting for the Mothership to take me back to my planet.