I Need To Be Changed

I Need To Be Changed

So I take a big container of loose change to my bank (M&T) to cash it in. I wait in line, the next available teller summons me and asks how she can help me…

“I’d like to cash in this change,” I say as I set the box on the counter.

“Is it rolled?”

“No. Isn’t that what you do here – count it and roll it?”

“We don’t have a coin-counting machine.”

“But you’re a bank…”

“Yes, but that is not a service we offer.”

“Well, do you know who does?”

“You can either take it to a Coinstar machine at a grocery store and pay a fee to have it converted or I think the Chevy Chase bank by Old Navy will do it for free if you open an account with them.”

So, I was essentially told to go to their competitor or pay out of pocket for a service that seems like a no-brainer to me. She actually said that they would do it for free, but that they send it out of house to be counted and that it takes about a week before my account would be credited.

What the fuck is that? Is she seriously telling me they would take the cardboard box of change, tape it shut and ship it out somewhere to be counted?

Why not just say, “Sir, we don’t have the time or inclination to aid our customers who are so non-wealthy as to even acknowledge anything other than paper money.”

I ended up going to Coinstar and losing 9.8 cents per dollar for the “convenience” of having said paper money.

Earth, the best option available unfortunately…

About the Author

I am patiently waiting for the Mothership to take me back to my planet.