Found It

Found It

Well, I can’t sleep just yet despite having only slept 3 hours last night, so I’ll bring everyone up to speed on what has happened to this point in the recovery of my stolen truck and bass gear.

The truck was located less than two miles from the club and the officer said he’d wait for me to arrive to survey everything. Thanks to Dominic for driving me down – never hurts to have a cop who works in crime scene processing with you in this circumstance!

Frankly, the officer made it sound worse on the phone than it turned out to be. He told me there was a lot of gear in the truck but that he didn’t know its condition and that someone had really done a number on the truck itself. Well, I am thankful to have had moronic criminals cross my path. They stole nothing while leaving several pieces of trace evidence as they beat up my truck which was already plenty beat up before last night.

They smashed my passenger window, broke off both of my side-view mirrors, broke off my driver’s side door handle and kicked some significant dents into both driver’s side doors. They tried to break more windows but failed. Pussies. In the act of doing so they left blood (though not nearly the amount I’d hoped to see), shoe prints and at least a partial palm print. If they’re in the system they have a good shot at getting caught and I’ll be very pleased to make their acquaintance as I return the favor and make their life suck to the fullest extent I can.

Not only did they not steal anything, it looked as if they didn’t even take a moment to notice what was there. Other than the iPad being on the floor instead of the passenger seat, nothing was even out of place. I guess time flies when you’re having fun beating the shit out of a 12-year-old, mid-level SUV with 235,000 miles on it and you lose sight of what’s important. Life lesson learned. Take the time to smell the roses and at least steal some valuables if you’ve already put yourself in position to face criminal charges…

In some ways it makes me madder to have been wronged by drunken idiots as opposed to an opportunistic thief. It points out the incredibly random nature of stupidity in the universe. Part of that was my own. As you’ve probably figured out by the lack of me mentioning anything about hot-wiring, I left the car running. Never mind the fact that it was for a matter of moments; that it was parked less than 100 feet from the front door; that I’ve been doing this for over 20 years without a problem; or that it was in an area where both my band mates and the bar staff were all busy cleaning up from the gig. I was stupid, trusted the basic goodness of people, and it bit me in the ass. Again, life lesson learned.

Other than freezing my ass off on the drive home, it went without incident. Now it’s on to the claims adjuster follies as I decide whether it’s worth the likely rate increases that will accompany filing a claim. That “we’re on your side” bullshit doesn’t pass the smell test. They’re only interested in making money from me each year. Now that the time has come for them to provide the services I’ve supposedly been paying for years to ensure, I fully expect to be disappointed in the name of their profit margin. So long as my basses pass the test once they’re back at room temperature I can forego the homeowners claim. The question is what will the estimate be to fix what are largely cosmetic issues on a truck that is likely only worth $2,500 or so in the shape it was in prior.

So that’s it for now. I imagine I’ll have some supplemental rants once we get into the insurance (or better yet, legal) aspects of this whole thing. In the meantime, it’s nice to be reminded that kind, caring people are still out there, and in greater numbers than I normally let myself believe. Every once in a while the vast majority of good apples in the bunch can overshadow the few misguided, brain-dead, scum-sucking, loser, brainless, dickless, hopeless (note the Christmas Vacation homage), never-going-to-amount-to-shit bad apples. Thanks for your support.

About the Author

I am patiently waiting for the Mothership to take me back to my planet.